OK, time to rant...
OK, this is totally off topic, but this is my forum, and I'll pop if I don't say SOMETHING.
I've had it with deadbeat parents. No, I'm not talking about non-custodial parents who fail to pay child support; I'm talking about parents in 2-parent households who fail to love their children, and do it in a way that is completely encouraged by modern "enlightened" society.
It's back to school day in much of the U.S. Today I was bantering casually with an acquaintance who brought up his daughter's first day at preschool. A big day to be sure. This man, who also has an elementary-aged child, is married and has a middle management job that pays about 30% - 40% higher than average locally. As we were talking about the parental free time (relatively speaking) that is sometimes associated with having kids in school, I pointed out that "the thing with preschool though is that it's so short that you're picking them up almost as soon as you drop them off."
"No," he says, "this school has a day-care program." So this guy takes his daughter on his half-hour commute, drops her off at school/daycare, picks her up 9 hours later and goes home to his wife, who is also getting home from her full-time job. No big deal, right? WRONG. It is a big deal. This family has no need whatsoever of a second income, yet they both spend over half of their children's waking hours at work. Could they possibly really believe that they are doing this for their children's well-being?
Why get so worked up? Why begrudge either of these parents of their right to have fulfilling careers? I've got news for people who would make such an argument: Parenting is a fulfilling career, it's what you signed on for, and it's a job you are not at liberty to quit. This manager would not tolerate an employee who has substandard performance because they work another separate full-time job, yet he fails to see the gross disservice he and his wife do to their children by depriving them of parents. Do they even know the teachers and babysitters who are raising their children in their absence?
Before I go chill out, I'll close with this. Guess what this guy discussed with his daughter on the way to work today? They talked about what would be played through the car's speaker system. He wanted sports radio. She wanted The Dixie Chicks. That's right, this five year old girl has developed a taste for The Dixie Chicks. If that doesn't surprise you, read the lyrics to their song, "Sin Wagon".
Sigh.
PS: Yes, I'm a parent, and no, I'm not a perfect one. I've been far more frustrated with my own mistakes at times than with those of others. My point in posting here though is to hopefully shake a reader or two out of the worldly stupor that allows nonsense like this to occur. It should be no surprise that this present darkness we live in is filled with selfish people, and parents are no exception. But if you are a Christian parent, you have a higher calling!
Where are your priorities? Please parents, BE parents. (As if you needed another reason, this is what's running across the news ticker right now.)
6 Comments:
No need to "pop"!
There's a website called "Daycares Don't Care" that shares your point-of-view about day-care.
The URL is:
www.daycaresdontcare.org
Cheers,
Thanks for the URL.
I should probably make the point clear though that I don't think daycare is inherently bad, or that it is never appropriate. It is NOT appropriate however, when parents in 2-family homes make a conscious choice to go to work instead of being with their child.
Some parents, including many single parents, simply have no choice. Even in most of those cases however, the situation is caused by the same core error: putting the self first. By engaging in premarital sex, by not being properly dedicated to marriage, by choosing divorce, etc.
When I found I was pregnant - my husband and I made a concious decision not to follow the commercialism and hedonism of the world and move to a town where we could afford a home on one salary. It was a huge thing to do and we have had to go without many material things - but WOW WOW WOW I got to spend 5 precious years with my beautiful son, I saw all his 'firsts' and I was the one who showed him how much he is loved and adored, my husband's job here is more flexible too so he also got to enjoy and make a positive impact on our little boy - he is at school now and I pick him up at 3pm, he plays with his friends in the backyard playing pirates and soccer - its really lovely and he is a secure and loving boy.
Our son is not a 'angel' he has borderline ADD, all the more reason for him to know that he is loved and for parents to put one--to-one intentional time into his life to prepare him for the future.
I whole heartedly wish that many parents could see if there is any other way - the benefits are outstanding!
I'm not saying this because I'm angry or think childcare is somehow evil. I'm sad for the parents and children who miss out so much on each other and the joy that toddlers can give to a couple.
Thats all - God bless. Helen
Excellent story, Helen. It really is all about choices. Choosing to live a lifestyle that doesn't require two incomes really doesn't have to be a burden (assuming the one income isn't minimum wage). Having a mother(*) in the house is far more important than having a bigger house with no one in it.
(*) I have intentionally avoided a gender-specific version of this argument (since in some families having a mom bringing home the bacon for the house-husband to fry up works fine). However, let's face it--for most families, the choice they are naturally faced with is "will Mom go back to work or not".
Hope you don't mind me stopping by and adding my comment. I came here through Rich's blog. Anyway, my hubby and I both made the decision that I would be a SAHM until our youngest was at school. We've had to make many sacrifices (which has taught us how to budget our money on one wage) but it's all paying off now as our children have reaped many benefits from it. Great post btw...could'nt agree with you more.
Thanks so much for your testimony, Amy. I hope it will inspire others to do the right thing.
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